@matthewfeickert @agoose77 thanks a lot for all the info and taking time to look over this! i never used/had to use virtual-env on rhel family as i did not needed and also this is my first encounter with debian family (beside googling "how to install packages on ubuntu" and install some packages on the machines of my colleagues)
So, i will see how can i avoid this default venv (personally i fail to see difference between --user pip install and an always activated default venv) moreover if one is broken (--user) then IMHO it should not exist and the option should have be removed from pip ..
also on the subject of updating pip, this is actually something that pip requires from me (at least on rhel family) when is older than upstream.. it will issue a warning that is older and that i should update it in my user (below output on centos 7)

Installing collected packages: websockets
Successfully installed websockets-9.1
You are using pip version 10.0.1, however version 21.3.1 is available.
You should consider upgrading via the 'pip install --upgrade pip' command.

@agoose77 so, the answers:

1. the site output

[Tuesday 05.04.22 11:13] adrian@ALICE2 : ~  $ 
python3 -m site
sys.path = [
    '/home/adrian',
    '/usr/lib/python38.zip',
    '/usr/lib/python3.8',
    '/usr/lib/python3.8/lib-dynload',
    '/home/adrian/.local/lib/python3.8/site-packages',
    '/usr/local/lib/python3.8/dist-packages',
    '/usr/lib/python3/dist-packages',
]
USER_BASE: '/home/adrian/.local' (exists)
USER_SITE: '/home/adrian/.local/lib/python3.8/site-packages' (exists)
ENABLE_USER_SITE: True

ls ~/.local/lib/python3.8/site-packages/pyxrootd/lib*
libXrdAppUtils.so         libXrdCl.so          libXrdCryptoLite.so.2      libXrdCrypto.so.2.0.0  libXrdSecgsiAUTHZVO-5.so  libXrdSecpwd-5.so   libXrdUtils.so.3      libXrdXml.so.3.0.0
libXrdAppUtils.so.2       libXrdCl.so.3        libXrdCryptoLite.so.2.0.0  libXrdCryptossl-5.so   libXrdSecgsiGMAPDN-5.so   libXrdSecsss-5.so   libXrdUtils.so.3.0.0
libXrdAppUtils.so.2.0.0   libXrdCl.so.3.0.0    libXrdCrypto.so            libXrdSec-5.so         libXrdSeckrb5-5.so        libXrdSecunix-5.so  libXrdXml.so
libXrdClProxyPlugin-5.so  libXrdCryptoLite.so  libXrdCrypto.so.2          libXrdSecgsi-5.so      libXrdSecProt-5.so        libXrdUtils.so      libXrdXml.so.3

3. there is no RPATH and notice the location (as opposed to centos 7)

objdump -x ~/.local/lib/python3.8/site-packages/xrootd-5.4.2-py3.8-linux-x86_64.egg/pyxrootd/client.cpython-38-x86_64-linux-gnu.so | grep RPATH

BUT OTOH the situation is identical on fedora 35 and everything just works:

[test@hal ~]$ find ~/.local/lib/python3.10/site-packages -name "client.cpython*"
/home/test/.local/lib/python3.10/site-packages/xrootd-5.4.2-py3.10-linux-x86_64.egg/pyxrootd/client.cpython-310-x86_64-linux-gnu.so
/home/test/.local/lib/python3.10/site-packages/xrootd-5.4.2-py3.10-linux-x86_64.egg/pyxrootd/__pycache__/client.cpython-310.pyc

so, at this moment i just need to establish if it is my problem that what works on centos/fedora does not work on ubuntu, or is a packaging problem (i mean, if someone do pip install xrootd at least it should receive a message that: on ubuntu this will not work, install only in a virtual env or just refuse to install with the reason of virtual env not detected..)
Thanks a lot!!

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